It strikes me how adaptable human being are.  As a parent of many, but especially of a non-standard child, it has occurred to me on innumerable occasions that some of the “normal” stuff that goes on in our house doesn’t happen in the homes of most of the other people we know.  In fact, some of this stuff might happen in just our house.  For my family, it is just us doing what we do, but first-timers may be a little perplexed by how things work around here.

 

First off, my daughter doesn’t talk. The term is non-verbal autism.  She is not likely to utter one syllable that can be made sense of.  But, if you hand her her iPad, she will ask for mac and cheese, tell you where she lives and maybe tell you to “Get out of here.”  As her mother, I forget that her not talking is different. She tells me what she wants. She understands what I say to her.  We communicate just fine. She just carries her mouth around in her hand.  It can be frustrating when her mouth needs charging which is why we have invested in a second iPad. It’s normal to us.

 

Another thing about Gigi is that she almost never sits down for any length of time. She rarely stops moving. To say she is busy is a major understatement. She’s back and forth and up and down and all over the place from the time she wakes up until she goes to bed.  When she is home, the majority of her time is spent seeking out water. She loves the kitchen sink. If she gets chased out of one sink, she finds another and she would take ten baths a day if you let her.  We have a lot of sinks in our house.  This is not considered by me to be a positive. The counters and mirrors are always wet and it is rare that I get to finish my coffee before it is devoured or dumped down the drain.  If you want to drink something at our house, you do it fast or you hang onto it until you are done.  No one is safe from her beverage-thieving ways.  You snooze, you lose as it were. My older kids and their friends are wise to this.  It is something we are all used to at this point.

 

Gigi has no concept of modesty, waiting any length of time, other people’s ownership of anything, germs, or personal space and the world is her oyster.  She has a great time in most circumstances and she will do it at your expense if it suits her so you have to be ready for anything. She may come out of nowhere stark naked jump on you lap and hand you a stick of  butter. It’s really great to be her if you think about it.  She is not bound by social norms and she doesn’t feel criticism. She is unhindered but what other people think.  Wouldn’t that be nice?

 

We have learned over the course of her eleven years to deal with Gigi’s antics in a couple of ways.

We appreciate her for who she is. She is really smart and creative and funny and it is important to recognize that she is a whole person that deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.

We work on her behaviors. Her school helps a great deal with this. We have to pick our battles. Worst thing first. She is constantly making progress on many fronts. She has come so far from where we started.

We choose carefully who we invite in.  We couldn’t imagine our house without her and it is intensely painful when people don’t see the good in our normal.  Not everyone is equipped for the experience that is our house. For our sake as much as for the sakes of others, we welcome the durable, forgiving sort of visitors.

We love her so much.