Traveling with a child requires some effort.  Traveling with several children can really be a challenge.  Traveling with my bunch is akin to an Olympic event in parenting and human endurance — it is not for the feint of heart.

As  I have mentioned, I have five children: three teenagers, an infant, and a Gigi who has special needs, or, as I like to call it, superpowers.  We travel in a fifteen year old mini van and we fill all the seats.  Plus everyone needs their devices, we like to wear clothes when we travel, and we need to take all the baby equipment necessary to keep him contained when we visit places that don’t commonly accommodate a baby.  We are packed in there with a loud, anxious miniature dachshund to boot.

I have one child who is small, but the rest qualify as full size people.  A couple of them would be considered large.  My two oldest sons are at least six feet tall. We have to arrange ourselves carefully based on size and personality so everyone survives the trip with all their limbs intact and with no head injuries from the ceiling or their neighbor.  Car sickness tendency also factors into placement.  It is a carefully orchestrated procedure.

We travel almost exclusively to see grandparents. We do have other people who want to spend some time with us, but we  require some special accommodations and a lot of space, so they usually come to us.  It works out better for everyone.  The folks who are responsible for our existence are brave enough and even excited to have us visit.  They may feel differently after about a day in a half, though they never let on.

Both sets of grandparents live about seven hours away, but nowhere near each other.  (This is good, but a subject for another day.) That is about the duration of our typical trips plus stops for bathroom breaks for people and dogs, food, car seat respite and driver switches. We are like those clowns that climb out of the tiny car at the circus.  We just keep coming and are amusing to onlookers.

Currently, we have a baby who has recently acquired the ability to crawl. Along with this ability came a great disdain for car seats.  He wants to move NOW and he makes that abundantly clear after a couple of hours in the car.  Taking him out of the seat only helps while he is out of the seat.  As soon as he is strapped in again, he quickly returns to his irritated state unless we are lucky enough that he is tired enough to nap.

Gigi does pretty well as long as there is a continuous stream of carbohydrate-laden snacks, which also create “gifts from heaven” for a ten pound dog who waits anxiously for them to drop — except when she throws caution to the wind and jumps on the seat to get a better view and promptly hears about the error of her ways or just gets shoved to the floor by the maker of the mess.

So, once we arrive at our destination, we are thrilled to exit the vehicle.  Parts of us are numb, we are covered with crumbs and dog hair and we have had enough togetherness for the day.  We greet the expectant grandparent, haul all of our stuff out of the car and try to find an appropriate place for it in our temporary residence, and find the bathroom.  That is when the relaxation is supposed to start but, alas, relaxation is an unattainable phenomenon.

Gigi and Zeke, her baby brother, do not go along on the relaxation train.  Gigi is never still and Zeke has a new found ability to get where he wants to go.  They explode onto the scene to see how much they can get into as fast as possible.  At our house, we do not have precious items, we don’t display anything and expect it to stay where we put it, and we don’t put out things that are likely to break if thrown or chewed on.  Our hosts know these things, but there is always a learning curve, as Gigi can reach just about everything and she is very creative in her pursuits to access the inaccessible.  She also loves water and experimenting with the impact water has on other things like crackers or play doh so she often heads straight to a sink.

Sleep is another issue.  Typically, no one gets any.  At least that’s what it feels like.  Everything is exciting in a new place so it is hard to settle down. ” Gigi, get in bed.”  “Gigi, go to bed.”  “Gigi, get back up there and get in bed!”  We take turns going up and down the stairs.  At least one parent has to sleep in the room with her so she doesn’t get up to shenanigans in the middle of the night.  It’s not all that restful.  Plus, we also have an infant in a different room with the other parent. Zeke doesn’t sleep through the night at home.  He is up more often away from home.  We plan to sleep when we are home again.

There are also invisible expectations that I am trying to live up to.  No one says anything but I always feel like bystanders feel like I should handle things better.  I don’t want to mess up their house or eat all their food or damage their stuff.  I don’t want them to feel like I should have helped them more with the dishes or taken shorter showers or kept the kids more quiet so they could sleep.  I know this is my issue, but I want them to appreciate the great things about my big family instead of focussing on the difficulties.  I try to remember that I don’t have control over other people’s thoughts and they are family and they love us and most of the issue is in my own head.

We usually stay for three or four days.  Any longer gets us too far off of track.  Gigi needs her school and her own bed.  Heck, I need Gigi to go to school and sleep in her own bed.  God bless everyone who would have us, we enjoy seeing them, but it is nice to set foot in our home territory once again.  Maybe we’ll try again in six months.