I don’t have the technical or mechanical brain or the time or inclination to develop new inventions  but I do have some ideas.  Over the course of my last eighteen years of life and parenting, I have thought of a few things that would make certain parts of my life a lot easier.  If any of them already exist, then someone should let me know as I am not exactly up-to-date on cutting edge scientific developments.  Alternatively, if any of you are inclined in that direction, I would appreciate it if you would get on the stick, so to speak, because I could use any one of these items as soon as possible.

I have a daughter who has several irresistible urges to do things that I wish she wouldn’t do.  Her main distraction of choice is the kitchen sink but any sink will do in a pinch.  She pours things out, dumps them back and forth between multiple receptacles, turns the sink on and off repeatedly and with great fervor and leaves drips and puddles in her wake. I’m thinking some kind of force field could be very useful towards dissuading her from this practice. If I could just switch it on and walk out of the room and never say, or yell, “Gigi, get out of the sink!” again, it would make a significant improvement to my evenings. Yes, I may be guilty of indulging in a particular sci-fi program, but I think it could happen. I could probably think of some other spots where a force field would come in handy too.

As the parent of five children, three being teenagers, I have a hard time keeping food in the house. This is particularly frustrating when said items have been purchased for some purpose other than a teenager’s snack.  Dinner, for instance. Or school lunch. Or a snack for mom.  I know that there are thumbprint scanners on phones and I’ve seen retinal scanners on TV.  I was hoping for one or the other for the refrigerator and maybe the pantry. We would leave some snacks available. I don’t want them to starve. I just want certain things be be rendered untouchable so they can be used for their intended purposes.

Did you ever have an earache?  You can use a heating pad but it doesn’t really reach to where the issue is. For many years, I have thought that some sort of heated ear plugs would be fabulous for earaches.  They couldn’t be too hot and they would have to fit well. We wouldn’t want them to fall out or get lost in there. For an added bonus, they would block some sound so you could get some sleep. An added vibrate feature could help for those times when you get an itch in there and your finger doesn’t quite cut it.  That can be super annoying.

Next up, self cleaning mini van.  They make self cleaning ovens.  Why not?  It gets disgusting in there.  Just shut all the doors, pull down the lever to lock, and some kind of dishwasher /incinerator combo would dispense with all the old french fries, mud from winter boots, wrappers, coffee spills and whatever other kind of kid-funk has been building up in there. I wish I was more mechanical.  I know I could make a million dollars with such a device.

We do a lot of bathing in this house. For the most part, the world would prefer if we continue that trend.  The problem is that we burn through a lot of water in a day which is wasteful.   There are a couple folks living in this house who are endurance bathers.  They like to enjoy the event to the fullest.  This leaves the next person in line with a much more exhilarating shower than they were looking for. I propose some sort of timer that can cut off the water after, let’s say, 10-15 minutes. That would conserve some hot water for the next guy, lower our water bill and most likely, keep the floor more dry.  For a bath, one tub full would have to do.  No more filling the tub 5 times (Gigi) and no more sharing the water with the whole room.  I suppose I could find the shower shut off and do it manually, but I would prefer some sort of thermostat type device on the wall with a thumbprint scanner if at all possible.

While we are in the bathroom, a garbage disposal in the tub and something similar in the base of the toilet would be a fabulous addition. My kid has a strong affection for dirt and she leaves a lot of residue after an afternoon in the backyard. A disposal would do a lot more good than a bottle of drain cleaner, if you ask me.  She has also been known the flush the odd bar of soap. Not actually that easy to fix, but some sort of spinning blade installed past where a little hand could reach could do the trick.

I realize not every household would have a use for all of these items, but I would sure find them handy.  These ideas may need some tweaking but I am tied up with chasing babies so I am hoping someone else will take the ball and run with it.  Any one of them would help.

I’ll be first in line to try out the prototypes.